so much for substitutes

So I have a song from Downhere stuck in my head. I'm not sure where it came from.
Well, so much for me posting regularly. It's been over a month since my last post. Sorry to those who keep hoping to see something new. I'm back on my bandwagon so here goes...
I've been kinda down lately. I'm not sure that I can explain why. I do have a great life yet I've been feeling pretty bleak about it lately. Last week out of nowhere I had a complete breakdown. I even called my mom! I've been feeling better since then (usually happens after you pick up all the pieces) but now I'm being thrown for a loop again, my aunt Elisabeth died this morning. It hurts, man. My heart is broken for her kids, her husband, her brother's and sister's, her friends.
My sister is great with describing how she feels and this is what she wrote on her blog Tuesday after we visited Aunt Elisabeth in hospital:

Why is death so hard? Actually, why is saying goodbye so hard? To sit beside a dying person, holding their hand...the silence, the wet eyes....my heart just broke looking down on someone I know but hardly really knew. A woman so vibrant, loving, full of faith, devoted to her children, husband and family. Why? Why? What do u say? Words can't describe what the heart is going thru...the mind so confused at the idea of letting someone go. It breaks my heart to look at my dad. Lost a mother, lost one sister already...now his baby sister...I can't stand seeing my dad hurt...it grips my heart like nothing else...just take her Father, let her come live with You forever...

Thanks for sticking with me everyone. Talk to you soon!