family update

So it's occured to me that it'll be alot easier to keep people up to date on my family though this blog b/c I don't often remember to fill everyone in. After awhile you can't remember who you told or didn't tell.

I spoke with my mom yesterday morning to get an update on my aunts.

• My aunt Elisabeth (who is the youngest sister of my dad's) is doing better then expected. About a month before Aunt Rita (her older sister) passed away she was told that her breast cancer had spread to her lungs, liver and brain. She's doing treatment and now 2 months later none of the tumors have grown and one of them in her brain has shrunk. So that's really good news.
• My mom's sister, Aunt Corrie was diagnosed with colon cancer about 3 weeks ago. She had surgery and is recovering well. She is now going through a series of consultations before her chemotherapy treatments begin.
• My Aunt Edith, also my mom's sister, had a mild stroke last week. She finally went home Thursday morning. She has some slight paralysis and seems to be doing well.

one month ago

So it was a month ago today (well, now yesterday seeing as it's past midnight) that my Aunt Rita passed away. It seems so unreal. Man, I miss her. She was such a vibrate and loving lady whos smile lit up every room she walked in. She loved all of her nieces and nephews so much (she never married or had any children). Cancer started to take her away from us last december. She had a tumor in her pituitary gland. She had surgery to remove it and that's when the doctor's found out it was cancerous. After the surgery she was never the same b/c she suffered some brain damage. That was hard, it was almost as if we had already lost our aunt, then. Now over the past 10 months we've come to know the "new" aunt Rita, the Rita with the same memories, but with less motor skills, a witless tongue, a forgetful mind, a sad smile. Though her death was expected, almost a relief it's still really hard b/c there was the women she once was and the women she had become to mourn.

Aunt Tritey I know you're in heaven with our Saviour but I miss you so much.

getting stuck is the prerequisite to getting unstuck

Getting stuck is a great moment, a summons, a call from within, the glorious music of disaffection and dissatisfaction with our place in life. We get stuck when we want to change but can't, when we want to stop destructive dehaviour but don't, when the tug-of-war between God's will and ours stands still and we can't move. We're stuck going nowhere, unable to get beyond a particular point.
- Michael Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality

So this is where I'm at. I've been stuck for awhile, too long it feels. It's days, like Saturday (re: blah), when I feel at my lowest, when everything just seems to suck, that's when I have nothing to do but search for Jesus. I always find him but never the answers I'm looking for. Patience.

I want to feel alive again...

new look

I know it's only been 4 days but I've updated the look of my blog. I had fun combining and manipulating the "code" of 2 different templates that I liked. It still needs a little tweaking but all in all I like it.

blah

I despise days like today. Days when why my life feels utterly pathetic. I feel like I just want to crawl in a hole. I want to transport to some place in my future where I'm not in this stupid place of limbo. What a ridiculous funk I find myself in. I feel like I'm being selfish, I feel Iike I should be happy. I know Christ and His awesome love that sustains me and yet my heart still aches for something more. Is it not enough? What am I missing?

I'm so lonely and restless and scared.

phew it's Friday!

Wow, this week at work has been pretty nuts! I'm so glad that I'm out of here in less than an hour. Yippee!
So my weekend is shaping up to be alot less interesting then last. I've got plans for tonight, a few errands on Saturday and Elevation on Sunday morning. Nothing compared to the rock'n weekend of last week. :) (I shall explain and post a few pictures later.)

word

Have you ever thought of words as being "cool"? Not in the sense that should you say them they'll make you popular, but in the sense that they're just really interesting or striking in some way? Sometimes I'll say a word and I'll think to myself, "self that is a great word". For example: the word -portfolio- it just has a great ring to it, or how about -phenomenon- if your tongue gets all twisted it sounds mumbled but when spoken well it just sounds so... GREAT.
Reply to this post with your "cool" word.

Hmmm

I'm just starting out with the blogging thing. I will post more later, right now I'm checking out all the options, etc.